|
Consult Your In-Laws
Everybody wants to feel valued. Both
*Natalie and *Theresa say that soliciting
their advice on matters both big and small
will disarm almost anyone. Says *Natalie,
“You don’t have to agree or make a
decision right then and there. Nor do
you necessarily have to follow their advice.
But knowing that you respect and
consider their views is sometimes all they
really need.
Disagree Graciously
So you disagree. It doesn’t mean you have
to be opponents on opposite sides forever.
Says *Theresa, “I have found myself saying
to my father-in-law: ‘that’s interesting, Dad.
I feel differently, but I think I understand
where you’re coming from.’” *A smile is
very powerful. You can say almost anything
and a smile and a friendly touch will
almost always take the sting away.
Focus On The Positive
Find their positive qualities and focus on them. Better yet, remark or praise them for these positive qualities. Says
*Theresa, “My hubby’s mum can be a
nag. But the reason for that is that she
really cares and worries about us and
about everyone. She finds the time to
organise Christmas toy drives for
children in orphanages. If I focus on
that, I’m less apt to get irritated or
annoyed.”
Find A Common Pastime
Says *Ginny, “I never thought I would
ever find anything in common with my
mother-in-law. But once, she tagged
along with us on a trip to Bangkok,
and I found out that we both like to
shop for hours and hours on end. We
really bonded that time, and have
since made it a point to go on
shopping trips together just here in Malaysia.
Make Their Son Happy
If your in-laws see the happiness and
satisfaction you bring their son, they
will love you. They will not be able to
help themselves. Let them see how
concerned you are about his health,
welfare and happiness.
MUMS IN-LAW SPEAK UP
I don’t interfere *Lina, 58, is one ofthose mothers-in-law who decided she was going to just “go with the flow.” She remembers her own difficult time with her mother-in-law, so very early on she’dresolved that she would try not to give her future daughter-in-law any of that pain. “If they need me, I will be there. But I try not to interfere. I don’t make suggestions unless my opinion is sought. It’s nice to be asked, though. And it’s nice to be involved in some way.”
I treat them like my own *Mei Lin, 59, is of the same mind-set. “If I love them like my own, they will love me. It’s as simple as that. I always try to treat my sonin- law and my daughter-in-law the way I treat my own son and daughter. I think it’s when people treat their daughter-in-law like an outsider, that’s when the trouble begins.” |
< Previous |
